The Dissolution of a Marriage in Two Parts

Marriage Merry-Go-Round

Another tear stained pillow

fighting over what to cook.

Invested all these years,

don’t wanna start over.

Thinking we were more than something

tell me we aren’t just nothing.

The odds were against us but we beat the stats!

How can we move on if we don’t have each others backs?

Same fights round and round,

it's a god damn marriage merry go round.

Are we just settling with the status quo?

Are we still together just for show?

We got more to be fighting for,

I’m trying hard not to walk out the door.

It's not all you

I know I gotta work on me to.

I don’t feel your support in my goals.

I'm tryin' to elevate, to start anew.

I'm starting to wait for the other shoe.

It's another god damn marriage merry go round.

Are we really trying or just stayin' to placate?

Halfway through our second decade

and I can’t stop all the replays

of the memories made;

don’t wanna lose this life,

don’t wanna lose this fight.

I wanna be your baby

I'm so proud of our babies.

The life we built,

they said we wouldn’t endure

you're my life partner of that I'm sure.

I wanna change, can we change?

I don’t wanna keep playing the merry go round.

I just wanna hear the sound

of your voice saying I see you

let me help you...

Marriage Merry-Go-Round

PART 2

I waited for you to say it.

It's sad and I hate it

but the waiting is over.

I played all my cards,

put everything I had in the fight,

to stay with you 

and do what others say is right.

But the resentment cuts too deep.

These memories I can't keep.

Of the pain and tears,

Of the silent struggles all these years.

Trying to keep you afloat 

While I sank deeper and deeper,

gasping for air,

screaming for help.

But no one wanted to listen to what was in between the lines.

The stories I was telling; in between those lines.

I must be lying

or exaggerating the truths.

I never said, so how could they

believe the abuse?

No marks except the scars 

and wounds on my pride,

my self worth.

You made me think I was crazy.

Had me postpone testing on our baby.

You took my voice.

Had me dull my shine till I 

almost forgot I am a goddamn star.

I burn brighter than you'll ever know.

That's why you wont let me go.

My eyes have been opened 

to your manipulations.

I'll never go back,

there's no more intimidation.

My future is on a whole new level!

I'm galaxies away.

You can never hold this star again.

I'm not here to play.

I'm moving on.

Badass mother.

Black business owner.

I'm burning bright.

For the first time in a long time,

I'm free to be me and 

No one can take that away.

I know my worth,

it was lost but now its found